Can anyone believe that it is almost Christmas. Well I sure cant, I'm still in the mindset that it should be October, until I look outside and see all the snow. This season can be so difficult to get everything done that needs to be done. I feel like I never have enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to get done. I have been having so many trials it seems like this past month. Well this past week I fell on the ice and fractured my shoulder. I know what everyone is thinking, how could a twenty year old fall and break a bone, only 80 year old ladies are suppose to do that. Not a young girl about to head out on her mission. It was not something I had planned on, but it has made me realize how much I take for granted using two arms. This is the season to be reminded, and be grateful for what you have been blessed with. This has most definitely made me realize how blessed I am to be a healthy 20 year old.. I am so blessed with a roof over my head, food in my belly, a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, and a full time job. I think the best blessing I have is the gospel. I have something to put my faith in, and have the knowledge that my faith will bless me. This week has been extremely hard on me, and I had forgotten my faith, and how much it can help you in your life. I had let Satan take over my life, and I allowed myself to have a bad day. I was not thinking of all my blessing, of all the positive things in my life. Until today I was very upset. However, I found this amazing conference talk and Mormon message that really helped. In general conference of April 2012 President Henry B. Eyring said “Many of you are now passing through physical, mental, and emotional trials that could cause you to cry out ‘When I have tried all my life to be good, why has this happened to me?’ If the foundation of faith is not embedded in our heart, the power to endure will crumble. Curing does not come automatically through the passage of time, but it does take time. Getting older does not do it alone, it is serving God and others persistently with full heart and soul that turns testimony of truth into unbreakable spiritual strength. If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest, as well as the easiest of times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions we can choose the right with guidance of the spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God.”
The Lord would never put us through a trial if he didn't believe in us and know that we have the ability to come out on top. Each of us matter to the Savior. He only wants to build us up and make us stronger through trial and error. Satan would give anything to see us fail, to tear us apart but we can not give him the chance. We need to be strong and call upon The Lord, through the power of prayer and he will send his angels on our left and on our right to lift us up and guide us to Eternal Happiness.
Stay strong and never lose hope or your faith
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So this week is a pretty special week, I get my endowments out tomorrow. I am one step closer to leaving on my mission. I will have one more way to be closer to my Heavenly Father, and to help more people. I have been more than nervous for this day. I was more of an emotional wreck when Josh received his than he was, just because I knew that I would have receive my endowments without him here. It is a part of the church we aren't allowed to talk about, and it is a really big unknown. How are you suppose to prepare for something that no one is allowed to talk about. I think the reason I have been so nervous is because I don't get to go through with my mom, or my dad. I almost couldn't go through with my grandparents either. This is my one downfall to having an inactive family. I don't get to do the tradition. You mom is suppose to help you, and comfort you. Well that cant happen when your mother is 1777 miles away, and is inactive. When you go and receive your endowments you have to have an escort of the same gender, this usually goes to your mother. So I had to go with the nontraditional. For the longest time I had hoped and prayed that this role might fall to my grandma. Like most things she has been there as my step in mom. Lately we haven't had the best relationship. I have let hurt feelings, and anger get in the way of us being close like we once were when I was little. I have been trying for months to try and get over that. I have been trying to gain more patience, and have peace in our home. Yet, we still fought and argued. I resented the fact that she was trying to be my mother, because my mother wasn't there. Well last week she told me to choose someone else as my escort. I prayed and prayed. I finally found my answer. It was someone I had never expected it to be. Although she isn't my family yet, it was Josh's sister, Mary, she just returned home from her mission in Armenia. As soon as I received my answer, I had a wave of relief was over me, I could feel the peace that I would find in the temple, and the Spirit was so strong. Yet, I felt guilty for choosing someone that wasn't family, and I knew that some of my family would not be very pleased with me.I knew that no matter what happens I will still receive my endowments, and tomorrow is about me and my covenants I am making with the Lord, it is not about who helps me through. Everyone that is there is to see me make my covenant with my Heavenly Father. I am choosing Him, and His plan. I have listened to my Heavenly Father, and He has helped me to find the person who will help me to make those covenants. I know that many of my family will be angry, but I know that I am doing the right thing and I am going to be happy. I am working hard on my faults, and my sins just like everyone else. No one is perfect, however, that is why we have the Atonement. If all of us could no repent of our sins, no one would ever be able to receive their endowments. I am so blessed to be able to receive my blessings before Christmas. That is the greatest present that I could ever receive. I am ready to make those covenants with my Heavenly Father. After sharing my choice of Mary as my escort, the contention has stopped, and the love in my families relationship has strengthened. I know that tomorrow, it will grow even more.
Well speaking of presents, I sent out Josh's Christmas present last week. He is serving in Des Moines Iowa, where it has been below 0 for quite some time. I wanted him to stay nice and warm so I made him a blanket. Well that might not be the right word for it. It was 9 feet long and almost 5 feet wide. I am hoping that he will be nice and warm. in it. I also got him a few ties, and candy. This is the first year that I got all my Christmas shopping done before Christmas Eve. I have been trying to stay busy and not think about waiting this week. It has worked. Pedicure and dinner on Monday with a friend, Christmas lights in Ogden with friends on Tuesday;Wednesday Salt Lake Temple baptisms, temple square lights, and a dinner at My Thai; and today visiting teaching. I hope that tomorrow will go by fast. I know that I will enjoy my time in the temple. I wont remember everything, but I know that the Spirit will be with me. I hope that everyone will have a Merry Christmas, and everyone remember the true meaning of Christmas.
