Leaving for my mission

Well I am leaving for my mission on Wednesday, so I am handing over the reins to my aunt while I am gone. She will be posting all of my weekly emails, so hope you all enjoy them.

Valentine's Day Love story

We often fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected times. Never before did  think that I would have met the love of my life at work. Every love story has a beginning, and ours was not a meet-cute that would show signs of a happily ever after. Love has a strange way of creeping up on you though. I don’t remember the day that we first met, I don’t know the first words that you said to me, or even the moment I decided that I had a huge crush on you. All I remember is working next to you day after day, and making a fool of myself. Although you say that you weren’t ignoring me that is all that I remember. Each day working next to you in silence, as you had conversations with Eric, John, and sometimes Nick as I threw ice around, and spilt drinks all over you. If I didn’t think that you liked me before working next to you, I for sure didn’t think you would like me after me spilling coke all over you. Months went by and I didn’t act on my feelings. I didn’t even know if you had a girlfriend or not. I mean you were the hottest guy that I had ever hung out with, why wouldn’t you have a girlfriend? That and I wasn’t completely over the pain I had incurred from being cheated on by my ex. We finally started talking a lot more, and making fun of each other. Finally as you were juicing lemons, and I was cleaning the sauce bins we starting talking about food. I mean really we connected over talking about food??? I finally decided that I was going to do something about us. I made the first move. Although I already had your number from work, I didn’t want you to think I was a stalker or something by texting you so I facebook friended you. (Don’t you just love how many relationships start with social media now?) Then I had to start a random conversation with you, and it all went down hill from there. I slipped you my number, and then we started texting a lot. Well of course you weren’t getting the subtle hints that I liked you, so I had to come up with a way for you to ask me out. So I said I hadn’t seen the movie that had just come out, and I had no one to go see it with. Finally you asked if I wanted to see it with you. YES! My plan had worked. 
So our first date. I didn’t even know if it was an actual date or not. I was so nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. I don’t even know if I told you this before, but I showed up like an hour early. Finally you showed up and I was even more nervous. I didn’t even know what to say to you. Well Hi came out I think, or maybe I imagined that. I was ready to buy my ticket, when you bought mine too. I kind of smiled because it made me think that maybe you thought that this was a date too. Well we got into the theater, and sat down and you looked pretty nervous. So nervous that you went and got water from the concessions, and after you brought the water back you went to the bathroom. (By the way I snuck a drink of your water while you were in the bathroom. I was thirstier than I thought I was when you asked me if I wanted anything. Plus I didn’t want you to have to buy me anything else. J) Finally the movie started, it was really good, but I wasn’t focused on the movie. I was focused on the cute guy sitting next to me. (I mean you just to clarify.) I couldn’t stop looking at you. I just wanted you to hold my hand. So I kept moving it closer and closer to you hoping that you would finally take it. (So just to put this into perspective the movie was 3 hours long) You finally took it 15 minutes before the movie ended. It made my heart skip a beat, because I had given up on you holding my hand.  I didn’t want the night to end, and I was so happy when we decided to go get frozen yogurt. And before I knew it we had been talking for 3 hours… I didn’t want to leave, but we had to. However we still kept talking over text. It was probably the best time I had in the longest time. Before I knew it you had asked me out on another date. Miniature golfing. I honestly think that was the longest it had ever taken me to do 18 holes, because we talked the entire time. We never actually stopped talking. Even when we went and did the go karts. I thought it was funny that you just kept hitting me with your go kart. Then you tried to go and take me to dinner. I thought it was funny how hard you were trying. The first place as shut down, and the next was closing for the night. So instead of driving around trying to find somewhere to eat, I just told you I wasn’t hungry, and we could just go get ice cream. (By the way I was starving, but I didn’t want you to have to go anywhere else to find something.) It ended up being my dream first date. After going to a park, swinging, and then laying in the grass next to you as you pointed out constellations to me. I loved it; the only bad part of the date was when you dropped me off.    
I love you. These are very simple words, but when you put those three words together they mean so much more. They mean that  I am giving my whole heart to you. I am giving all of my trust, my worries, my smiles, my laughs, my thoughts, and actions to you. I no longer am in control of my heart, you are. I no longer care about myself I care about you. Although we use these simple words every day of our lives together they are not to be taken lightly or to be thrown around without careful consideration. When I first said these words to you, you might not have thought I had taken into consideration all of these factors. I had said these very words the day after our second date, right after our first kiss. Not because I thought that it was the only thing to say after a kiss. I had felt that you were the one I wanted to love from the moment I say you walking up to the theater in your blue plaid button up shirt, and khaki shorts. I knew the moment you held my hand in the movie theater. I even knew the moment we really connected talking about food while working. I know that you were a little more hesitant to tell me these simple words. I told you I wanted you to be just as sure as I was before you told me that you loved me, and to be honest I don’t remember exactly when you told me that you loved me. I think that it was when you were sitting with me on the couch at my house a week later. Now let’s talk about that first kiss. I knew that you would never do it, so I just had to go for it. Definitely the best first kiss that I have ever had. I’m pretty sure you felt the same way since you said wow like 10 different times. You know in the movies how they talk about that breathtaking, heart stopping first kiss? Without a doubt that was our first kiss. Just like in Princess Diaries it was a foot popping kiss. It might not have been the most romantic night, since we had just gotten off work, and you were just walking me out to the car, but it was the best first kiss I have ever had or imagined. I loved when you pulled me in close, and you kissed me. I think the hug made the moment even more perfect. We fit together like two puzzles pieces. Almost like we were made for each other. I could feel all of my troubles and pains just melt away. I felt so safe in your arms, and that’s when those three little words slipped out. 
All our dates just seemed to run together, because we were always together from that point on. Well, there is one that I remember vividly. Although I knew what you were going to ask me and when you seemed so nervous. As you picked me up for breakfast, you weren’t acting like yourself. It definitely didn’t help when we got in a car accident on the way down the hill from my house. Not only were you nervous, but you were mad. Especially since the guy who hit us didn’t stop, and you didn’t see any damage so we left, and you took me to Virg’s (I mean really you had to pick a place we would never go again, and had crappy food, lol. Plus that awful nautical décor) we sat across from each other, and were looking at the menu, and I was just wondering when you were finally going to pop the question. When you finally did I couldn’t help but smile. So the next big step in our relationship was meeting your family… I don’t think I ever told you how nervous I was, and hope much I wanted to make a good impression. I even changed my outfit like 10 different times. I didn’t even do that on our first date. I do have to say that meeting your family at an aquarium was probably the most fun I have ever had in meeting parents. Although I didn’t spend that much time with your parents we did spend a lot of time with Beth. I knew that I would love your family. I loved holding Camryn too. Of course there would be a torrential downpour when we went to the park. Although it was a freak rainstorm I got to know your family pretty well. The summer was filled with fun with your family like when we tore up your carpet after being at Bear Lake all day, or repairing the roof of Cari’s house, or tearing down the back porch, going to your family reunion, camping, and even the watching musicals after Sunday dinners. I honestly fell in love with your family.
We went through a lot together didn’t we? From us breaking down because of our past, to us worrying about each other, and so much more. Like you breaking your hand, me burning my leg, you falling through the roof, us getting the flu, us being sore from being on a roof all day long, me hurting my shoulder,  you getting your mission call, and me breaking down because you got your mission call. Not once during all those hard times did we not cling to one another, or turn to each other for comfort and help. Well except for our one and only fight. But that was your fault. ;) Lol not really, but that’s what you get when I worry about you more than myself, and what you get for telling me that I didn’t care about you. I love you, more than words describe. 
We had so many good memories like playing out in the rain, teaching you to dance, reenacting movie scene, you dipping me while kissing me, hiking, going to Bear Lake with you, food fights, water fights, falling asleep, and watching the sunset. 
Can you believe that this is only the beginning of our love story? Can you believe that we have our entire lives to have our happily ever after? We already have our love story. We are living our happily ever after right now. Although we might not be together right now, our love is growing stronger right now. We have our memories, and our love to get us through the next 19 months. No matter what happens we will always be there for each other. You are my knight in shining armor. My best friend. My one true love. The only person that I can truly open up to, and talk about anything. The only I will always have fun with, and can make me smile when I’m upset. You are the one that makes me forget about the world and my problems, because you make my life better. You make me want to be a better person. I hope that I can make you proud on my mission. I know that once we get home our lives are going to be so amazing. I love you! Happy Valentine's Day sweetie. 

Farewell Talk

Life had been so hectic lately. I have been doing so much to prepare for my mission. I feel my testimony growing and my love for this gospel as well. I love the temple so much! My goal before I leave is to go to every temple in Utah and Idaho. Thanks to my trip to Idaho this past week I have gotten quite a bit done. I have gone to 3 of the 4 temples in Idaho. Twin Falls was closed for maintenance, but I'm going as soon as it opens. I have also done a session a 7 of the 13 temples in Utah in the month since I have gotten my endowments. I'm starting to cut back on work to prepare myself more. It's nice, and I'm honestly not nervous at all. I think I am  more nervous to get up and giving my talk in front of everyone. There is just something about standing up there that makes me shake like a leaf. I never have a problem talking about the gospel with the sister missionaries, but standing in front of all my friends and family makes it even worse. However, I finally got my topic for my farewell talk, and got right into writing it. I thought I would share it all with you. My topic is the principles in D&C 88: 77-81. That might seem really specific topic, but if you read those scriptures it is a really broad topic. I could talk about anything I wanted. Well here ya go.

Each one of us has a special  gift. Although it night not seem like it. We have the gift of knowledge. We know that this church is true. Ach week we strive to become closer to our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. We are trying to better perfect ourselves and become more Christ-like. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.” (Moroni 7:48)In all of Jesus’s life he taught others about the true church. He wanted to share His knowledge of the plan of happiness. This plan is made for us. The plan that is meant to help bring us back into the presence of our Heavenly Father. “ For behold this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39) We were all sent down to earth with the purpose to come back to Him, but it has to be our choice. We watch have to choose Him. Each of us are given trials, hardships, and sorrow. We are blessed with the knowledge of good and evil. However we do not know or understand everything. In Moisah 4:9 it states, “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.” The Lord is all knowing, that is why he has given us so much guidance through the scriptures, apostles, and prophets. We have so many simple commandments to follow. So that we can come back to Him, “ f ye love me keep my commandments… and the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”(Matt 22:39) The lord loves us so much, and gives us o much with little in return. All He asks is that we follow His commandments If we love Him . He has told us that loving our neighbors is the second greatest commandment. Now who are our neighbors? Just the couple in the house next door? No, our neighbors are all the children of God. Everyone that we come in contact with everyday of our lives. That even includes those terrible drivers that cut you off and then slows down. Mosiah 2:17 says, “And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” Even in this scripture we learn that if we serve man we are serving Him. How amazing is that, that we can do something for our Heavenly Father on this earth, along with helping our neighbors. Well how do w e serve our neighbors? What can we do to help them? “And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom… Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor.”(D&C 88:77,81) The Lord has again given us a commandment to teach His doctrine. In John 21: 17 it says, “He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.” The Lord tells Peter three times that if he loves Him, to feed His sheep. So how do we Feed His Sheep? How can we teach His doctrine? Well we cannot teach it unless we know it, unless we have a testimony that the doctrine is true. We need our own conversion of the gospel before we can go out and tell others it is true. Just like in school. The teacher has gone through four years of college plus high school, junior high, and elementary school before they can even teach their students. Then each night they plan, and go over what they are going to teach. They have become very prepared before sharing the knowledge they have obtained to their students. We need to become like teachers. We have to gain he knowledge before sharing it. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5) Not only was this scripture the reason we have the restored gospel in our lives, but it can help us as well. The Lord wants us to be prepared, he wants us to gain a greater knowledge of the gospel. “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” (D&C 130:18-19) We have to search, ponder, and pray about the gospel for us to gain a testimony and have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. “ Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:3-5) Having a greater knowledge and understanding of the gospel not only strengthens your testimony, but helps others by you being an example. “Verily I say unto you all: Arise and shine forth, that thy light may be a standard for the nations.” (D&C 115:5) “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matt 5:16) When I was 17 years old I got the opportunity to go out with the Elders in Tennessee. One day they called and asked if I could go with them to teach one of their investigators about the young women’s program. I agreed, and once we got to the door and she answered I found out that it was a girl I went to school with, and I had taken gym with the previous year. So for the first few minutes we got to talking and catching up, she then proceeded to tell me that I was the reason she wanted to take lessons from the missionaries. In the class many people knew that I was a member, and I was always asked questions about what we believed. Well she had been watching me, and noticed how happy I always was, I always had a smile on my face, and she told me that I just seemed different than other people. I never knew how much I influenced others, and how much knowing I made a difference in someone elses life strengthened my testimony. At that moment I knew I wanted to serve a mission. Little did I know that it would actually happen. I had so many dreams and things I wanted to accomplish, and yet most of them never happen. So why would I have thought that a fleeting thought of a teenager would come to pass. I had put it off, I was focusing on m friends, my life, getting a job, and getting married. Four years is long time to wait to go on a mission, and life happens. Then October 2012 conference comes around I was living on my own in my pajamas watching the Saturday morning session when the Prophet shocked everyone with the age change. I was so shocked, I literally jumped up off the couch grabbed my phone called my grandma, and asked if she just heard what President Thomas S. Monson said. I jumped in the car and made my way to my grandma’s house. Little did I know that, again the Lord was preparing me to go on a mission. Again I put off the notion of going on a mission. How could I ever go on a mission? What do I know about the gospel. Well I again, had someone put in my life to remind me that I need to go on a mission. Well it was a whole family actually. Never did I know that this family would be the reason  I would put my papers in. Josh and I talked about the gospel for hours on end. We would talk and ask question, and find the answers to our questions through the scripture. We were preparing each other for our missions. The moment I realized that I needed to put my papers, was the day that Josh received his mission call. After I found out he go his call, I had a voice in the back of my head saying you need to put your papers in, you are ready, you are prepared. Again I ignored the promptings of the Spirit, just like with Peter, the Lord had to keep telling me to Feed His Sheep. The moment I realized this was the moment Josh was going to share where he was going. I wouldn’t let him tell me. I was crying, I finally allowed myself to listen to the promptings of the Spirit. I was overwhelmed with the Spirit. So after an hour I finally was ready where he was going on his mission. And I felt at peace. I was finally not going against the Lord’s plan for me. Each week as we went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead I had the same question in my heart. Am I suppose to go on a mission? I wanted to make sure that I understood the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Well each time I would close my eyes and open up the scriptures to a random page. No matter how many times I did that, each time there would be a scripture talking about missionary work, or serving the Lord.  I bet Heavenly Father  was up there just shaking His head  thinking how many times do I have to tell this girl that I need her to go on a mission. That her testimony, her faith, her trial, and her talents will help someone to come into My fold.  I had to doubt my doubts about going on a mission, so I would finally know my faith that I have in the gospel. To see how strong my testimony is. Each day as pray to my Heavenly Father, read my scripture, study preach my gospel, and go to the temple I feel my testimony growing. I have been prepared and saved for latter days, I have been prepared from the time I was born, and I just had to chose Heavenly Father. I had to realize that I will never completely be prepared to go and teach the gospel, but it’s ok. I don’t need to know everything, all I need to know is that if I have faith in Him he will be there to help me to know what to say, “ And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”(Ether 12:27) 

Tis the Season, Endowments, and Hardships

Can anyone believe that it is almost Christmas. Well I sure cant, I'm still in the mindset that it should be October, until I look outside and see all the snow. This season can be so difficult to get everything done that needs to be done. I feel like I never have enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to get done. I have been having so many trials it seems like this past month. Well this past week I fell on the ice and fractured my shoulder. I know what everyone is thinking, how could a twenty year old fall and break a bone, only 80 year old ladies are suppose to do that. Not a young girl about to head out on her mission. It was not something I had planned on, but it has made me realize how much I take for granted using two arms. This is the season to be reminded, and be grateful for what you have been blessed with. This has most definitely made me realize how blessed I am to be a healthy 20 year old.. I am so blessed with a roof over my head, food in my belly, a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, and a full time job. I think the best blessing I have is the gospel. I have something to put my faith in, and have the knowledge that my faith will bless me. This week has been extremely hard on me, and I had forgotten my faith, and how much it can help you in your life. I had let Satan take over my life, and I allowed myself to have a bad day. I was not thinking of all my blessing, of all the positive things in my life. Until today I was very upset. However, I found this amazing conference talk and Mormon message that really helped. In general conference of April 2012 President Henry B. Eyring said “Many of you are now passing through physical, mental, and emotional trials that could cause you to cry out ‘When I have tried all my life to be good, why has this happened to me?’ If the foundation of faith is not embedded in our heart, the power to endure will crumble. Curing does not come automatically through the passage of time, but it does take time. Getting older does not do it alone, it is serving God and others persistently with full heart and soul that turns testimony of truth into unbreakable spiritual strength. If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest, as well as the easiest of times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions we can choose the right with guidance of the spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God.”

The Lord would never put us through a trial if he didn't believe in us and know that we have the ability to come out on top. Each of us matter to the Savior. He only wants to build us up and make us stronger through trial and error. Satan would give anything to see us fail, to tear us apart but we can not give him the chance. We need to be strong and call upon The Lord, through the power of prayer and he will send his angels on our left and on our right to lift us up and guide us to Eternal Happiness.

Stay strong and never lose hope or your faith

.

So this week is a pretty special week, I get my endowments out tomorrow. I am one step closer to leaving on my mission. I will  have one more way to be closer to my Heavenly Father, and to help more people. I have been more than nervous for this day. I was more of an emotional wreck when Josh received his than he was, just because I knew that I would have receive my endowments without him here. It is a part of the church we aren't allowed to talk about, and it is a really big unknown. How are you suppose to prepare for something that no one is allowed to talk about. I think the reason I have been so nervous is because I don't get to go through with my mom, or my dad. I almost couldn't go through with my grandparents either. This is my one downfall to having an inactive family. I don't get to do the tradition. You mom is suppose to help you, and comfort you. Well that cant happen when your mother is 1777 miles away, and is inactive. When you go and receive your endowments you have to have an escort of the same gender, this usually goes to your mother. So I had to go with the nontraditional. For the longest time I had hoped and prayed that this role might fall to my grandma. Like most things she has been there as my step in mom. Lately we haven't had the best relationship. I have let hurt feelings, and anger get in the way of us being close like we once were when I was little. I have been trying for months to try and get over that. I have been trying to gain more patience, and have peace in our home. Yet, we still fought and argued. I resented the fact that she was trying to be my mother, because my mother wasn't there. Well last week she told me to choose someone else as my escort. I prayed and prayed. I finally found my answer. It was someone I had never expected it to be. Although she isn't my family yet, it was Josh's sister, Mary, she just returned home from her mission in Armenia. As soon as I received my answer, I had a wave of relief was over me, I could feel the peace that I would find in the temple, and the Spirit was so strong. Yet, I felt guilty for choosing someone that wasn't family, and I knew that some of my family would not be very pleased with me.I knew that no matter what happens I will still receive my endowments, and tomorrow is about me and my covenants I am making with the Lord, it is not about who helps me through. Everyone that is there is to see me make my covenant with my Heavenly Father. I am choosing Him, and His plan. I have listened to my Heavenly Father, and He has helped me to find the person who will help me to make those covenants. I know that many of my family will be angry, but I know that I am doing the right thing and I am going to be happy. I am working hard on my faults, and my sins just like everyone else. No one is perfect, however, that is why we have the Atonement. If all of us could no repent of our sins, no one would ever be able to receive their endowments. I am so blessed to be able to receive my blessings before Christmas. That is the greatest present that I could ever receive. I am ready to make those covenants with my Heavenly Father. After sharing my choice of Mary as my escort, the contention has stopped, and the love in my families relationship has strengthened. I know that tomorrow, it will grow even more. 

Well speaking of presents, I sent out Josh's Christmas present last week. He is serving in Des Moines Iowa, where it has been below 0 for quite some time. I wanted him to stay nice and warm so I made him a blanket. Well that might not be the right word for it. It was 9 feet long and almost 5 feet wide. I am hoping that he will be nice and warm. in it. I also got him a few ties, and candy. This is the first year that I got all my Christmas shopping done before Christmas Eve. I have been trying to stay busy and not think about waiting this week. It has worked. Pedicure and dinner on Monday with a friend, Christmas lights in Ogden with friends on Tuesday;Wednesday Salt Lake Temple baptisms, temple square lights, and a dinner at My Thai; and today visiting teaching. I hope that tomorrow will go by fast. I know that I will enjoy my time in the temple. I wont remember everything, but I know that the Spirit will be with me. I hope that everyone will have a Merry Christmas, and everyone remember the true meaning of Christmas. 

Mission President's Letter

Sorry, This Week has been crazy!!! Well Friday I got a letter from my mission president, that evidently got lost in the mail. I have to have sent a letter and all my driving stuff to him by the end of this week... I know right that's insane. So I have been thinking and thinking about all the stuff he wanted me to tell about myself. First what are your talents. Well I obviously couldnt put sleeping, eating raw cookie dough, and writing letters to my missionary. By the way that is what my life has consisted of for two weeks while I was home alone... I might have even forgotten to take a shower every day... I know right, you are thinking gross, how is this girl going to go on a mission.. When you dont have a life, it really doesnt matter what you do. I know that it was Satan working on me, but I seriously couldnt think of any talents I have. I am just a sarcastic, tom boy, who watches a lot of movies. I cant do anything well. So what do I do in times of need email my missionary begging for him to help me. However, Monday was Veteran's Day so no email... All  I could think of was now I have to figure out my talents on my own... So I thought and thought, there might have been some distractions with Facebook, and movies. Ok let's be honest I was very distracted, and  I might have gone on a hike/ 4 wheeling trip to Willard Peak, where there was no thought to the letter, or all the questions I have to get answered. By the way like a foot of snow up there and it was 60 degrees. It was amazing. Got some awesome pictures too that I will post. Finally I thought I would get an email today, he usually emails around 10. So what was I doing every 10 seconds until almost 11. Refreshing my email. Finally I decided to start writing the letter this is what I got.

November 12, 2013

Dear President Hobbs,

                I am so excited to be able to serve a mission with you and your sweet wife. I know that I will love you as I get to serve with you in the months to come. I have never felt so sure about a decision I have made until my decision to serve a mission. I know that all my experiences, and all the studying I have done has helped me to prepare to serve a mission. Each day I try to prepare myself even more by reading the Book of Mormon, reading A great and Marvelous Work by LeGrande Richards, reading the general conference talks, studying the lessons in  Preach my Gospel, memorizing scripture masteries, and going to the temple twice a week. I have also gone out with the missionaries here to teach lessons as well. Each time I go out with the missionaries I am overjoyed and cannot wait to be able to serve my own mission. I love the Spirit and the happiness it brings me to share my testimony and knowledge of the Gospel is true. I already have love for the people in Rancho Cucamonga and dray for them daily. I am preparing to take my endowments out very soon, so that I can have the knowledge and understanding about more of the covenants of the church. So I can have that excitement and the joy of going to the temple, and be able to share that with my future investigators. I truly love attending the temple. I know that one of the main reasons I moved to Utah was the Lord knew I needed to gain a greater testimony of the temple and temple work. I know how important families are in the church , and how temples help our families to become eternal. I have a wonderful family that I love very much, however, most of my family are either inactive or not members.  

                My parents were married in the Logan Temple. They had three children. I am the oldest and I am twenty, then my eighteen year old sister, and my seventeen year old brother. We were all raised in the church, however, when I turned eight my parents divorced. Divorce is hard for any family, but for a LDS family I think it is even harder. For a long time I felt like I would never have an eternal family. My Mom eventually moved out of Utah, and remarried. My mother and siblings fell away from the church, but my mom gave me a choice. I decided to keep going to church because I knew it was true. I knew that I could never give that up in my life. I learned sooner than most kids how to be independent, and not rely on the testimony of my parents. My mother remarried someone who was not a member, and I got two more siblings; my little sister who is five and my little brother who is four. My mother, step father, both my sister, my little brother, and my niece all live in Tennessee; where I have lived for eight years of my life. I moved back to Utah about a year and a half ago, I live with my maternal grandparents who are members of the church. Although, my Dad and most of his family life in Utah as well I hardly see them or talk to them. My Dad has been inactive for several years now, and has never really had a relationship with me. I have tried to include him in my life, and my decision to serve a mission. My aunts and uncles are all so excited and supportive of me, along with my maternal grandparents and mother. I know that by going on a mission and serving I will be an example to my family. I hope that with my example I will be able to bring my family closer to the gospel. I know that I have been given these trials and my family for a reason. It even says in my patriarchal blessing, “It is not by accident that you have been placed in the circumstances where you have had the opportunity here in this life to receive blessings of the gospel.” I have been blessed with the knowledge that this is the only true church upon the face of the earth. I have been blessed with the great opportunity to share this knowledge with all the people in Rancho Cucamonga California, and I cannot wait.

Jessica Bell

Side not I like the fact that today is 11 12 13. well finally it is 12 and guess what I missed an email from Josh. Actually I didnt miss it, we got to email back and forth for almost an hour. It is probably sad to say, but that was the best hour of my life since he left. Well besides the day I got my mission call. So he forgot to answer my question. So I was like answer my questions!!! Please. I love you. He cant get mad at me demanding answers if I say I love you. :) He told me he could picture my face saying that too. I laughed, considering I make a lot of faces, and he knows me all to well to know that I was making a face while emailing that to him. So I called him a dork and this is what i get in response, "i am right now. :) can I just say that it is wonderful to hear you say that.(Calling him a dork) :)  what are your talents? you are a great listener, you have a huge sense of duty and work. you are wonderful at sewing, cooking, this might be weird, but money management is a great strength.you have a great knowledge of the scriptures, you love to read. i don't remember all of you questions though. yeah, it is. It feels like you are so close, and I like that.(This is in response to me asking if he liked me calling him a dork.) I think that you were right, you would do great with trainer that will help you become that 4th missionary. and that is so awesome that you got that from mary! it's a wonderful talk. I love how detailed it is. to answer a question that you had in your letter, no you are not stopping me from being that 4th missionary. When I came out here I told you that I would do everything to stay focused, and I am. there are some days where that is harder, so I have to think, would Jess want me to be thinking about her or what I should be doing right now.Oh, I wanted to tell you, I'm grateful that you are so creative and awesome! I love that about you. does it ever bother you that I'm not very creative? that's great that my family is helping so much, I'm really glad that you've been able to be with them so much. I read a quote the other day "take a deep breath. smile. it's only a bad day, not a bad life" that is so awesome that you are going through the temple!!!( So I got my endowment day this week!!I am more nervous about it than anything, and I have had an anxiety attack because of it. I am so excited about it too. I love that I will be able to be that much closer to my Heavenly Father. I cannot wait to make another covenant with Him. I know how much it will bless my life, and how many questions it will help me answer.) I love the temple and I know that you will love it even more when you get your endowments. I love you!!!  so much Jessica. you are amazing and such a good example to me. thank you for everything. thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! :) ( So I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and Thanksgiving, and this is what he wrote.)  I loved the pictures that you sent as well, those were so great!!! and i liked you drawing, :) I don't need anything for thanksgiving. if you really want to give me something for Christmas though.... I do have a few things that I need. there a few books, I can't remember their names right now. also a tie bar. insoles for my shoes. piano music to listen to. you want to know what I have been really craving? that protein shake that you buy at sam's club. for some reason that sounds so good.( Apparently he thinks I am made of money. I however have a few other ideas for Christmas. I am making a book of us, and a blanket. Along with a missionary stocking that I am making.) I know that you love me. :) but I don't need that to make me happy I have you.( This was because I would send him that stuff for Christmas) You know one of the hardest things about being out here, is that I can't help you. or my family,. I know that the Lord will take care of you, but i wish that I could help you by sending you things. or by doing anything. because I want to make you happy. and yes, I am so sad about not having CFA... ;) really though, I crave it sometimes... ( We worked at CFA together) ( Well then he had to go, it is always sad when he says bye to me. I was happy that he was able to answer my question, and made my day. I got all of my letter done to my mission president from his help. And this is how he signs off. ) I LOVE YOU!!!!!! have a good week. Remember that I am there for you. and I know that you know that our Heavenly father is there for you. "

Remember that. You are never alone, you will always have someone to help you and be by your side. Just remember to ask. I hope all of you have a good week. I will be spending tomorrow at the DMV getting all of my driving records and a new license to send ... Yay!... Not really, but I am getting my mission pictures done tomorrow, that part is exciting. O and here is the pictures from my hike, and one of my sweet missionary out in the mission field. 

This is a mountain goat I saw, sorry for the crappy picture. 

Missionary Call Acceptance

I received my mission call over a week ago. It was the most thrilling and anxiety filled day of my life so far. Not only had it taken four long months to finally get it, but I then waited patiently by my standards to open in until everyone could come together to hear my great news. So much emotion and tension on one little piece of paper that will tell me where I could finally go and teach others about my testimony, and about my experiences that have truly given me the knowledge that THIS CHURCH IS TRUE!! So finally I am tearing the corner of the big white envelope. (When it came in the mail I couldnt believe it and almost overlooked it. I know everyone is thinking how could that be possible. Well when i finally read the name Sister Jessica Bell. I started jumping up and down and screaming. Might have gotten a few strange looks from neighbors who were outside.) Well I got the packet out and threw the envelope down. Not realizing that the call was in fact on the piece of paper still in the envelope. Ok side note. I didnt care where I was called, I didnt have a preference, I knew I would go where the Lord wanted me to. However everyone had told me I was going to go to Russia. I really didnt think that I would, and I hadnt hoped  to, except when I read where I was going I was a little disappointed that it was not to Russia. Everyone is yelling at me to read it our loud. How could I read it out loud when I was letting it sink in where I was finally called to serve. I had to laugh because never had I thought that i would be called to the California Rancho Cucamonga mission. I could barely pronounce Cucamonga let alone serve there. The funny thing is my aunt, uncle, and cousins had just gotten back from a trip to Disneyland where they had driven through Rancho Cucamonga, and had said wouldnt it be funny if Jess went here. Well I didnt think so. Except when I was reading down further I knew that I needed to go here for some reason. I would help someone or someone would help me. I would grow in California, and I would gain a stronger testimony of the church. Was I nervous? YES!! Who wouldnt be? I am leaving my home, the people I love, and my comfort zone to go somewhere I have never been. To teach people I have never met. And to live with another girl that the only thing we may have in common with is that we are serving a mission in Rancho Cucamonga for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What was I thinking? I cant even stand working with some girls, and hanging out with some girls for a night let alone sharing the same space for a whole 18 months with lots of different girls. Almost all my friends are guys because of the simple reason I hate drama, and basically everything that girls do. I am seriously a Tom Boy.BUT GUESS WHAT? Heavenly Father knows this. Heavenly Father will be with me every step of the way and will help me get over all my fears like the ones about my companion. My fears of being someone new( which isn't actually that big of a fear, I great at making new friends and talking to people. Kinda happens when you move 15 times in your life and you are only 20) And my fears of being inadequate in my knowledge of the gospel. 
So I being to look at the packet, now that the cat was out of the bag everyone realized how hungry they were and I became less interesting than the food that was before them, Which tends to happen a lot. Food is good. Somehow, in the process of submitting my mission papers, I didn’t quite realize that I would be required to actually write a letter directly to the First Presidency in order to accept the call.  When I got my call and read the accompanying packet, I was a little intimidated–what could I possibly have to say to the Brethren?  I think this is probably the reaction a lot of new missionaries have. So I put it  off, that and the fact that last Sunday was Stake Conference so I couldnt have given it to my bishop to send anyways. Then on Halloween Josh's dad (my missionary out in the mission field. So proud of that boy. He still doesnt know where Im going) said well i assume your acceptance letter is in, and then I remember that I still had not written the First Presidency. What am I suppose to say, I know that I want to serve a mission. and I know that the Lord wants me to serve the people of Rancho Cucamonga California, however how do I do that. So I did what any good Mormon girl does when she doesnt know what to do. I prayed. I got on my knees and told Heavenly Father to help me to know what to write to accept my new calling as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Well he answered. I wrote my acceptance. here it is:

Dear Brethren:
I gratefully accept the call to serve. I have never been so sure about any decision I have made in my life, except for this one. I know in my heart that I am doing the Lord's will. I am going out in search of that one lost sheep. I know with Heavenly Father's love and support I will be able to help serve the sweet souls in the are of Rancho Cucamonga, California. I know that this is the path that I will follow to be closer to my Heavenly Father. and to have the great blessing of the Spirit in my life. I have faith that with Him I can fulfill my calling as a missionary, without Him I will fail. "I will boast of my God, in his strength I can do all things." (Alma 26:12) I thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity to go out and do the work and serve. I know the blessings will be numerous and my testimony of the gospel will grow. 
Sister Jessica Bell 
I know that Heavenly Father was helping me to write this. I could have never done it on my own. For months I have been getting answers to my prayers about serving on a mission, and it finally happened. I have the ability to serve. But, I dont have to wait to share my testimony of the gospel, and invite others to come unto God. I have been preparing for a mission my entire life, through hearing the testimonies of my teachers, bishops, friends, and prophets. I know that this church is true. There is something that my missionary shared with me the night before he left to the MTC. Well I guess it was from his uncle,who just got back from a mission in Africa. But anyways he said. "You will have good times and you will have bad times. And when those times come get on your knees and the Lord will help you to know that you are blessed and that you are loved . Everything is going to be just fine. " 

Never have I felt more love and support than I do right now, because I have submitted everything I have to the Lord. And my will, will be His for 18 months. I know that I will grow, I will be come more patient, loving, and an all around better person because I am dong what the Lord asks us to do. I am Following Him . I am serving Him, and Finding that one Lost sheep that has gone astray.  "This could be the best two years of my life, but it will definitely be the best two years for my life." I know this is true. There is something that Josh shared in his letter today that I wanted to share. 

Stand TALL. 

Reach High. 

You personify, the image of God above.

Be glad you are you. 

Lay Claim to your due. 

Of His glorious light and love. 

I am a MORMON. I know it. I live it. I love it. Nothing will ever change that for me, I have know since I was 12 that there was something special about this church that I never wanted to lose, and I am determined to never quit having that special feeling each and every time I talk about the gospel, or go to the temple, or do something that I know is right. I know that when I am on my mission, I am going to make it the best 18 months of my life. I will grow, I will teach, I will love, and I will share my passion for what I know is true. A missionaries success is not from the amount of baptisms we do. It is about the true conversions we make happen. All we have to do is plant the seed and let it grow. It will blossom eventually. Just like in the Disney movie Mulan, "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." The entire world is in a state of adversity, Satan is all around. However, Light always overcomes darknes, and the flower will bloom,and once they realize how important the gospel is they will never let it  go. 

Just What I Needed to Hear

So I am getting sick.. That is never fun. But I think that Josh knew I wasn't feeling well. Cause I got a surprise letter from him. It made my day. :) Some of my favorite things in his letter:

 I remember walking up to the theater, I was so nervous... My hands were sweating (but i guess they always do) and thinking Wow she looks great. I can still see you standing there looking like you had butterflies. I know that what we have, our love for each other is real.... I truly do love you, you are my girl. We fit perfectly together. I love that you have helped me to gain a greater testimony of the temple, families, and the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. And you have helped me to feel my Saviors love because of your love for be. Being as imperfect and in need of improvement as I am. No one should love me as much a as you do. Yet I know that you  do anyways. And I am forever grateful for that. And I know that you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes right now.... I know that our love will last. Two years really will go by fast. Let's try not to think too much about time though because it will go slower if we do. I love you with all my heart, with everything that I am. And that love will only grow .
With love, and forever yours,
Elder Broadbent
He is such a sweetheart. I cant believe that he started talking about our first date. I had no idea that he still thinks about our first date. I am so proud of him and his service. Right now he is having a hard time out in the mission, he doesnt feel like he is making a difference, and all of his appointments are falling through. He is always an optimist, and in his letter, he was telling me what he thinks is hard, and yet he is still being an optimist. He is still able to have a good outlook on life. I know that he is making a difference even if he cant see it. He is an amazing missionary and is going to make an even better husband. He isnt even here right now, and he still knows exactly how to make me feel better.  I am so glad that he is still thinking of me, and loves me. I know that he loves me with all his heart, and I love him the same way. I guess that is the end of my rant about my amazing boy out in the mission field. I know that he is mine and I am his forever and always.
Not only is he amazing, but his family is as well. I spent Halloween with his family and it was amazing. I spent about an hour just talking to his parents. Then when his little brother got home from trick or treating we just sat there and watched Monster's University together. (On a side note, Love this movie it is so cute. Me and Josh saw it together before he left. I fell asleep in his arms when we watched it. So i was trying to not be emotional when I watched it this time) The movie was hilarious, and it was fun to just watch it with his family. They act so much like him, and make me feel just as loved as if Josh was still here. Especially his dad's hugs. Which I get any time that he sees me.. So basically once a week. :) I even brought them cookies. ( I was dressed as little red hiding hood, and since they were the only people i went and saw on Halloween they got all the treats for grandma.) :)

Since someone cough cough my aunt said that there was too much love letters I decided to share the rest of Elder Broadbent's letter to me really helps me to know how great a missionary he is becoming. 

We have quite a few investigators, who we try to contact regularly. We've already gotten 4 new investigators since I've been here, which for this area is really good. The only problem is that when we schedule appointments with them it's more of like a time that they think might be available if they arent doing anything else. A lot of the time it's really hit and miss, but when we do have lessons they are so powerful. We had a lesson with a former investigator named Allen. It was so spiritual. In the past he has been really sketchy and difficult to teach, but the lesson was so good. He said he got goose bumps and knows everything is true, ans he realized that he needs to make the next step and be baptized, which was awesome. So we are going to work with him. 

I know that he is having a hard time, and all missionaries go through hard times, but he is making the most out of it. He is doing God's work, and in the end that's all that matters. He is following the Lord's plan and trying to hasten the work of Salvation. I am so proud of my missionary and know that he is and will bless the lives of those around him. Now everyone knows that there is more than all that lovey dovey stuff in the letters I receive. He is growing his faith, love, and testimony of the Gospel. He is doing God's will, and he is loving every minute of it. 

Me as little Red Riding Hood